Light of Doom Must Go

Light of Doom is the freaky young teen heavy metal band on The Next Great American Band. For some people, they’re the token heavy metal act, not a novelty show, but it’s beginning to be obvious they’re being judged on a different level that any of the adult bands (other than Rocket, the token feminist affirmative action band.)

Now, granted, the kids in Light of Doom are mad talented for their age. But if they were all 10 years older, they wouldn’t get nearly the leeway they do. It’s beginning to become clear, especially when they do the obligatory cover, that they’re only good on a few particular riffs. When they have to do something new, like “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting” they completely fall apart as a band. All the judges say are “you need to be a little bit tighter.” I’m sorry, but Guitar Hero has given me respect for the musicianship a heavy metal band can exhibit, and I think if someone like Ozzy Osbourne were fronting those musicians, he’d give them considerably stronger criticism than that.

Their original songs also make them look sad and sorry. How did their eponymous showcase song go? I heard it as “Blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah, Light of Doom” repeated over and over. Oh, yeah, that’ll make people want to run out and buy the album, for sure….

All the other bands respectfully referenced the writers of the song they were performing, except for the lead singer of Light of Doom, who’d forgotten the name of lyricist Bernie Taupin, looked for a cue, and then mispronounced it as “Bernie Poopin” with a smirk. Can you imagine a single singer getting away with that mistake on American Idol? Me, neither.

And as for their moves, they look like a tribute band. Everything, from the head banging to the guitar poses, is copied exactly from a stock catalog of bitchin’  heavy metal stage moves. Some originality and imagination might make them stand out beyond the novelty aspect, but they’re really mediocre as a heavy metal band. The sad thing is, that left to gracefully mature, they had the potential to become something spectacular as adults. But at this point, they’ve become a joke, and one that’s being cruelly coddled.

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