England has two scary female celebrities who go by the single name of Jordan. The first Jordan is heads and shoulders cooler than the modern Jordan.
I only learned about the first Jordan, or Punk Jordan, at the Vivienne Westwood exhibit. She was a clerk at Malcolm McLaren and Vivienne Westwood’s Sex boutique, and became a fashion icon for punk and new wave.
In a short film clip about her at the exhibition, she had a huge blond beehive hairdo, the exaggerated black triangles on her eyes that became standard for New Wave models, and she was putting on a rubber outfit sold at the store. According to the placard, she dressed this way all the time. And it was so shocking in 1970s Britain that sometimes, for her own safety, she was put in her own train car while commuting to work.
Modern Jordan, or Big Boobs Jordan, as far as I can tell, is famous for having huge fake tits. She’s like Pamela Anderson, but English, and without being any fun or having any (even limited) acting talent. Her primary activity is getting into tabloid catfights with other busty British celebrities about whose boobs are bigger and faker.
Britons seem to find this sort of thing entertaining.
Anyway, I know which Jordan I’d rather be hanging out with. Punk Jordan ditched her punk look in the 80s, because it wasn’t edgy any more. Inside, she’s a true punk, in a way Mall Punks will never understand. Big Boobs Jordan may be all the rage in the UK these days, but within 30 years from now (and I daresay much sooner) she’ll be long gone and forgotten, while Punk Jordan will remain a part of fashion history forever.