Middle-Aged Chia Pet Man


For Christmas, Neil gave us a homemade version of a Chia Pet, or er, Chia Pet Man. Per Neil’s instructions, I put soaked the Chia Pet Man and put him in a shallow dish filled with water near the kitchen window.

For about a month, nothing happened. Or, more accurately, Chia Pet Man didn’t grow any grass hair. I continued to give him water. He sucked it up, doubled in weight, and clearly got fatter (especially on the bottom) but on top, he remained bald. Of all the Chia Pet Men in all the Chia Pet Men world, I had ended up with a middle-aged specimen.

Maybe he got ahold of some Rogaine, because eventually, middle-aged Chia Pet man did grow some “hair.” It was spare, but I hoped more would grow in. It didn’t. The little bit he had just grew longer, and some of it actually turned grey-brown. Great, now I have hippie middle-aged Chia Pet Man. I can’t kick him out of the house, because that would break Neil’s heart. Neil says I should give him a hair cut, so maybe I’ll do that and he can get a respectable middle-aged Chia Pet Man job.

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