Squishing His Head

At the aforementioned Everclear concert (post below), I had the great grand luck to find a short girl to stand behind. She was at least a foot shorter than me and stood a few feet behind the person in front of her so that she could actually see the stage. As an added bonus, her boyfriend next to her looked like a kickboxer. I had an awesome view, until a couple came, trying to find a spot to squeeze in closer to the stage. They couldn’t go far and they ended up with the tall guy right in front of the short girl. Her kickboxer boyfriend was useless and I saw her doing the desperate move all short people do when a really tall person stands in front of them at a concert (I know, I’ve done it, too.) She hopped, hoping beyond hope that perhaps she could temporarily get high enough to see the stage. I wasn’t particularly happy having some tall guy’s head right in front of me, too, but if the short girl was making the best of it, I could, too.

I did exactly what I always do when someone’s head is in my view: I squished it. You can blame the early 90s Canadian comedy show “Kids in the Hall” for this. They had a character who squished the heads of people by squeezing his thumb and forefinger together around the person’s head from a distance. Just as in real life, it had no effect on anyone, but I thought it was amusing. Just try it sometime to someone you don’t like (say a politician on TV). You’ll be laughing so hard it will reduce your annoyance and hatred by at least 50%

So I put my thumb and forefinger together with the tall guy’s head in my view and said “I’m squishing your head, I’m squishing your head.” I didn’t think anyone heard me besides Peter (the band was playing after all), but a few minutes after that, the tall guy left. And he never came back. So maybe I did squish his head after all.

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